Saturday, September 13, 2003
@ 12:56am
| Entry no.324 | "and I wish on a star, that somewhere you are...
||   mood    blaaaahh   ||
||   music    "dreaming of you" _ selena   ||

...thinking of me too... 'cause I'm dreaming of you tonight..."

[[note]]
The lyrics aren't directed towards Chadwick, or any guy for that matter. It's just something that I happened to stumble on while reading journals. I think I'm quite finished with guys for the moment. I'm just not happy with any of em. Getting kind of fed up with going 'round and 'round in circles and never getting anywhere. Well, I'm going to try and take myself off this little hamster wheel of sorts, and hopefully start anew. In all likelyhood though, I won't. I'm be spinning on this wheel for the rest of my life. Too stubborn to change my ways. It's the exact same thing that I'm getting frustrated with Chadwick for below.

Poor darling Chadwick. Stuck in a situation where he's completely in control, yet at the same time, there is no solution where he'll come out the winner. I wish he'd listen to me, because I can see him chosing the same path that I always choose, and he's been through so much. He doesn't need anymore drama. He's... okay, now he's just being stubborn. Damn. If he doesn't want listen, there's nothing I can do. I give up.

This Friday night sure sucked. I usually love talking to my Chadwick, but since he just doesn't want to hear my opinion, even though he asked me for it, it's just..."blah". Well, I'm going back to helping out the poor guy.

unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

Saturday, September 13, 2003
@ 02:10am
| Entry no.325 | more headaches from stupid crap
||   mood    blah   ||
||   music    jay and quiet robert   ||

Why is it that the majority of men in my life are only after one thing? Even the so-called good ones, I can't even talk to them anymore. I feel nothing but disgust for them now. Even the simple fact that they told me that they liked me, didn't override the fact that they found it perfectly acceptable to talk to me as though I were a whore. Fuck. Wow, great. I have a reputation. A false one, but heck, no one bothers to find that out. They'd just rather assume things based on the way I choose to dress, or the music I listen to, or by the company I keep. Damnit, need to throw out the old, and bring in the new.

Gosh, I sure do hate men. And, to my lovelies... this doesn't apply to you, you sweethearts are a-okay in my book. I'm going to go watch a movie now. <33 toodles.

( 1 ) deep dark secret revealed  unburden your soul  ( memory/edit )

|| n.a.v.i.g.a.t.i.o.n ||
dwelling in the memory of:: September 13th, 2003
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